Do you know when your whistle will blow…

There is something that is bigger than all of the EEOC laws in this country, and that passes all federal diversity requirements, and that knows no racial prejudice as it creates an opportunity for brother to brother and sister to sister to support each other regardless of nationality.  It is the one thing none of us can control, and the single greatest common denominator for all of mankind that we each experience … DEATH.

 

I have missed blogging but have been preoccupied with some heartache lately.  Sorry for the delay.  The last month in our lives has been a time of struggle and sorrow.  We watched our oldest daughter and her husband move thousands of miles away.  We miss them so much.  We also have unwillingly watched the progression of a rampant disease in the life of a young friend.  Today that disease took her home to be with our Lord.  This side of heaven, we will never see her beautiful face again.  Her name was Meredith Rankin.  Her young husband Justin has more character than many men twice his age.  Meredith’s sister Laura is longsuffering and was an incredible soldier for Christ, in the battle to comfort her.  Meredith’s parents Julie and Glen were unmovable in their faith and love and dedication to their precious daughter.  They have been a shining testimony to all of us.  No parent should EVER have to bury their child!  But our Heavenly Father chose to do just that for us with His son.   And He chose them to be able to bear this burden like Him.  Meredith’s extended relatives also marched to the drummer of unending love, in ways not often seen on this earth.  Her friends were steadfast, immovable and persistent in their concern for her, doing all they possibly could to lighten her load as they tried in vain to help carry this burden given to this family.  There are many people who could be mentioned here, but words fail to adequately describe Meredith’s journey and the journey of those who loved her.

 

Our daughter Ashley was one who loved Meredith.  There were times she stayed in Meredith’s apartment with her, while visiting there and spent time with Justin, whom she admires beyond description.  Ashley and her sister Gabrielle talked me into driving them to Meredith and Justin’s wedding several states away, just because of that love.  Meredith was so appreciative to see us there.  She thanked me profusely for making the trip, and told me several times how much it meant to her that we came from so far.  This is hardly worth mentioning.  It is only a tiny tear drop in a lake of endless ripples from the impact Meredith’s young life left on so many of us.  We have worn blue wrist bands in her honor for months, so we would not forget to pray for her.  The band had written on it, Meredith’s Miracle and pray we did, for exactly that… a miracle.  Always we asked that this cup would pass from her.  It did not.  However, we got the miracle we prayed for anyway, although we did not realize it at the time.  You see… MEREDITH was the MIRACLE.  Meredith was Mighty!

 

She now resides in the beautiful firmament in the midst of waters on 1st Street in the City of Heaven, World 101.  “And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.  And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament, from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.  And God called the firmament Heaven.”  Genesis 1: 6-8.  Meredith rode the death train today when her whistle blew, and it took her home to glory, leaving all of us behind for now. So, what do we do?  How can the Miracle of Meredith make us different?  It should you know.  Meredith did not have a choice, but we still do…

 

We have been given LIFE!  Value it as never before!  Make each moment count!  Each hour and each day are precious vapors that could soon fade away for us too.  Our train whistle could blow when none of us expect it.  We need to spend our time LOVING each other and those around us, as if it were our last day on earth. We must find joy in small things like breathing, preparing dinner together, laughing at something silly with each other, and praising God for every single day we are given here.  Who do you need to forgive?  If their train whistle blows tonight, you will not have another chance to tell them you do.  Who do you need to talk to and just put things aside to make it better?  Don’t put it off until tomorrow, because it may never come.  Who have you not told you love because of some pride issue, but in reality you still miss them even though they are out of your life now?  They may have made a mistake but you did not let it go.  The good memories with them might already far out weigh the bad, if your pride would get out of the way.  Maybe you have even thought more often of those good times, but are still not willing to cross the great divide and tell them you miss them.  Do it.  You may not get another chance.  Is what you’re holding on to really as important as the life of another human being?

 

When was the last time you called your parents or your siblings, just to say how much you love them and how very important they are in your life?  Would it make their lives better if they knew you felt that way?  You bet it would!  Even be mushy, you may not be able to again, if God calls them home now.  Or are you still hanging on to some feelings of competitive jealously that got too big in your own mind, thinking somehow they favored another over you.  If you lose them today, would that still be so relevant?  I don’t think so, but it makes our frustration and pride feel better when we hold on to it, by feeling hurt somehow doesn’t it?  When was the last time you spent time, real QUALITY time, with an aging grandparent?  After all you were the apple of their eye and probably still are, even though you make little time for them now.  When did you go  into your bosses office to praise THE BOSS for something, instead of asking for something for yourself?  They are people too.  Have they ever helped you get what you wanted like a raise, or time off work for something important to you?  When did you last walk over to a neighbor’s house when you saw them working, and offer to help just because they needed it?  Our actions for Christ speak so much louder than our words do.  I ask these questions of you because I am first asking them of myself.  I don’t like the answers I am giving me all the time. 

 

When was the last time you spent an entire day telling your kids all the things they do right, instead of all the things they need to work on?  If you learned YOUR children were dying this evening, would the things on your improvement list for them matter quite so much?  You may not have another chance to tell them, if their train whistle blows today.  Lastly, if you are married you probably live with a very imperfect person, unlike yourself of course.  Your spouse probably loves you so much they have committed to spending their entire life with you.  In a world where most commitments end at over 50% in a divorce rate every day, you are very blessed if you still have your spouse.  Justin doesn’t.  What can you do today to make your spouse feel more loved and more appreciated by you?  We all need to know that answer and feel that love.  Most often it is not about what you buy, as much as what you do, or say.  Simple thoughtful things count the most, like making a cup of coffee fixed the way they like it, or leaving a note on their pillow, or planting a lingering kiss and saying something to them about how much they mean to you.  Just how important is your spouse to you?  What if you lost yours today like Justin did?  I don’t know about you, but for me, Meredith’s Miracle is how she touched so many others.  We each have the same capacity to do so every single day, and often just pass.  Instead, we are caught up in wrong thinking like, the world and how it relates to me, instead of me and how I relate to the world.  Evaluating all of this has suddenly made my “To Do” list very long.  I intend to be about it NOW, instead of later.  I do not know when my whistle or the whistle of my loved ones will blow, but I want to take every advantage of the time I can make a difference for someone I love.  Will you?  Please pass on the true Miracle of Meredith.  In her own words spoken to her uncle these were the plans she had for her own life, when she knew she was dying…  

 

“To count my blessings, soak in my experiences, love my friends, and appreciate my family. It’s not about me, but for the glory of God.” Meredith Rankin  

 

Meredith, YOU are the MIRACLE… in the lives of everyone who reads this, truly listens, and acts on it.  You will be missed so… but we’ll see you in heaven, and talk about all that YOU helped us accomplish.

April 22, 2008

Becoming One…

I have been thinking a lot about marriage lately.  I am wondering if I am doing a good job of it after 27 years.  What does it mean to become one?  When two people marry, does it mean you alter your personality and change who you are to get your spouse’s approval?  If the marriage affects you in that way, it is not of God or the couple is not allowing God to control their lives, as Christians should.   God made each of us unique and special with our own personalities for His plan.  He wants me to alter my SIN, not my personality.  He gave me that personality for His purposes, or He would have made us all the same.  He didn’t make us all the same on purpose.  Besides that, one of me is challenging enough not to have duplicates.  The word of God teaches us in 1 Peter 1:22 that, “We should love one another with a pure heart fervently.  I’m asking myself two things about that verse… pure heart and fervently?  What exactly does that mean?  Do I have a pure heart and am I fervent in my love?  How do I love?  How has becoming one in our love and marriage affected and impacted others?  I love my husband fervently, no question about it, but have I given him fervently enough of the time?  How has our love helped or hurt our families? Is our love the biblical model God left for us in His word?  These questions need answers even after 27 years of marriage.   In 1 Corinthians 13 we learn that Love is patient, love is kind, and envies no one.  Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude.  Love is never selfish and never quick to take offense.  Love keeps no score of wrongs, does not gloat over another’s sins, but delights in truth.  There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.  There are three things that last forever; faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. It is no accident we are instructed on HOW to love and told that doing so is the greatest in importance of all. There is also nothing more painful than having love and losing it.

In this book of the bible, Paul’s letter was written to the church of Corinth to instruct Christians on the way they should conduct themselves, especially in HOW they love.  It is timeless in its wisdom.  So it seems a logical place for me to search for answers about how I’m conducting myself in the LOVE department.  Did you know that Paul was filled with heartache when he wrote it?  He was suffering tremendous grief over the behavior of the people he loved so much.  Out of his heart of brokenness, he cried out for his loved ones to grasp what the Holy Spirit was stirring in him for their benefit. Do you think Paul’s message still applies today?  Do you think he cries out for us to “get it,” like he did for the people he loved in the Corinth Church almost two thousand years ago?  I do, or God would not have left that particular Corinthians book as a guide for all of us, in the art of loving others.  There is so much in this book about HOW to love others.  When I read it I felt like the Kindergartner who looks at the educational road of learning clear through to college graduation.  He knows he has so much to grasp, it seems endless, like school is forever.  Maybe a better way to say it is that I am endlessly ignorant of all I want, and need to know from God’s vast wisdom, about HOW He wants me to conduct my life in love. Time is short. Robert Frost said, “I have miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.” I need to be on the path.  The sooner I grasp the infiniteness of HOW to love others, the better.  I’m just a rookie.

We all love I think, but do we all know HOW to love biblically. It’s still a learning curve for me.  My husband says being married to me is a lot like fishing.  Stop laughing.  He casts the line out there, hooks one (he being the fisherman) and the fish goes for it and just runs with it (me being the fish – of course).  You can almost hear the line “whirring” as I say it can’t you?  Feel the breeze?  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz across the water as the fish races full speed ahead on that line with the zeal of the chase, and the freedom to fly.  I can relate to that fish and I love the sensation of the freedom run.  But then the fisherman ever so gently in all of his wisdom, as the fish and line get too far out there for their own good, steadfastly reels that fish back in so the line does not snap.  The fish may not always like that hook in its mouth, but it knows it is very secure on the end of that line.  Yep, that’s us.  I’m out there often, and he is reeling frequently.  God gave me just the right man.  He’s awesome.  He puts on those thigh high waders due to all he has to live through with me, in my life’s work.  But his casting ability is superb!  He deserves fervently.  I need to measure up.  And most importantly, our love for each other needs to be inclusive not exclusive.  We need to model how God first loved us accepting us where we were at, in all our sin and without judgment, yet giving us an invitation to join Him in pursuit of all that is good and worthy in this life.  We need to fervently serve our God and each other with a pure heart.  That can only happen through our submission to Him and to others, even when we struggle to understand it.  We have to want the other person’s needs to be met more than we want our own needs to be met.  We have to ACT on LOVE.  We have to show them we love them through the actions of a pure heart, as Christ did fervently.  There in lies the test of true pure hearted fervent love. And most importantly, that love is to be for our mate, our brothers and sisters, our parents, our families, our fellow believers in Christ and those unknown to Christ as yet.  From hours in this study of love, I finally realized 27 years after I should have, that being one means being one with Christ as a couple selfless in our love for each other, and for our families, our friends, and for all mankind.  We have to WANT to meet the needs of others in our lives more than we want to meet our own.  Christ gives us a free will to decide whether to love like that or not.  It also does not mean we are always called to sacrifice and do so; we are just always called to WANT to do so.  It is a matter of the heart which becomes evident by our actions.  God gives us the opportunity to LOVE others the right way, wanting what is best for them first.  By “getting it” we learn that being one is learning HOW to love with a pure and fervent heart like God loves us, connected, concerned, genuine, and selfless.  His way not ours…

So I’ve Been Thinking

Sometime ago my father who is 83 years old, told my family a rather funny story. We got such a kick out of it, I thought it worth repeating. However, to understand my father’s humor, you have to know a little about him. Keep his age in your mind as you read this Blog.

Dad believes there are very unusual things going on in the modern world today, and not necessarily good things. He feels these peculiarities often make no sense at all, like communicating through cell phones and texting. He thinks the same thing about E-mail, My Space, and even Face Book. He also doesn’t understand why you have to talk to somebody in India who can’t speak English for help on a problem in America. Come to think of it, neither do I. He says most modern day communication tools are nothing but great time wasters and they only complicate a person’s life. He believes the way people communicate today is way over rated and all these stupid gadgets just distract us from really being with people. He says, “If you want to talk to somebody, just go see ‘em for goodness sake.” He believes people come up with something more strange everyday, than they did the day before. Dad says nothing surprises him anymore. Remember this as I share his restaurant story with you now.

Dad told us that he went out to eat at a restaurant and he saw something that really upset him there. On his way to the restroom in the back, there was a sign that said Baby Changing Station. And he said, “Soooooo I’ve been thinking… about that sign, BABY CHANGING STATION. Does it mean, if yoooou don’t like your baaaaby, you can make a SWITCH? What is the world coming to? Do people really trade their babies in for ones they might like better?” Needless to say, we were hysterical laughing at my father’s interpretation of what the sign meant. Obviously, the real meaning of the sign was just a friendly reminder that one could change a baby there. Even though the message on the sign was clear, my father’s interpretation of that message was entirely different than what the author intended.

How many times in our lives do we misinterpret information like my father did? I have certainly done so many times before. How often do we misinterpret each other? How frequently do we wrongly judge the intentions of others, especially people who love us and want the best for us? How often are those intimate relationships with loved ones damaged, because we CHOOSE to THINK less of someone? At times we assume our interpretation is accurate without even asking them, which can be dangerous? Human nature allows us to easily pick up offenses, but it doesn’t make it right. When relationship problems occur, they can move us emotionally away from a loved one or friend, when we should be moving towards them. We can rush to judgment of those closest to us, often unintentionally. Sometimes we give strangers better treatment than the people who would do anything for us, our family. Why would we treat a person with no investment in our lives better than we do a loved one? Perhaps it is based on unfair judgment. God’s word teaches us to be at peace with all men and think no evil of them.

How often have you been hurt by similar experiences in your life? Just ponder your life journey for a minute. Are you carrying around some pain, due to unresolved issues with another person? Have you done all you can to fix it? Each of us has the capacity to really listen and understand an issue through another person’s eyes, if we only try. We have the option to go to them sincerely, wanting the situation to improve. We can ask ourselves if we could live under the scrutiny we expect others to live under, as we evaluate them. Are we as perfect as we want them to be? We can all approach someone we have an offense with and ask to talk to them. We stand before a Heavenly Father for the sins we CHOOSE to commit. We must get our pride and ego out of the way and realize how much we value those we may have offenses with. If we don’t value them we are the ones with the problem. The walls we put up are best served when torn down. What if tomorrow was the last day on earth for the individual we have the offense with? What if we had an opportunity to solve that offense and did not do so? Death has a way of reducing our so called “big deal.” If someone hurt you, you be the bigger person. Lovingly ask them for clarification of their intentions during the time you got hurt. Then BELIEVE what they say in response. You’ll be better because of it. If the person who hurt you is not sincere, God will deal with them. He’ll do a better job bringing their problems into their own line of sight than you ever could. You’ll do your part by going to them. The rest is up to them. Be in the habit of asking for clarity BEFORE passing judgment or scrutinizing another person. How much pain could be eliminated in the world if we would choose to think the best of each other, and genuinely care about them? I have learned that I am a full time job for me. When I spend my time evaluating MY BEHAVIOR, I don’t have time to evaluate others. I have miles to go on me. So I’ve been thinking, when I see a sign Baby Changing Station, I’m the only baby I need to change.